Hey Everyone!

I know it’s been a while, but I’ve got some exciting news! I’m going on a mission!!

I have been called to serve in the Argentina Posadas Mission, and I report to the MTC on October 5th! That’s one week from now ohmigoodness!!! I’m half excited, half scared out of my mind. That’s always a fun mix!

Anyways, since my next post will be a copy of my first weekly mission email, I thought it’d be good to write down some of my thoughts and feelings before someone else (that someone else being my older sister, Shiloh) takes care of the blog while I’m gone.

So… where do I begin? I guess I’ll just go ahead and puke up all of my fears. Start with the bad, end with the good. That sounds like a good way to go!

Fears (Dun-dun-duuuuun)

1. I’m going to miss my mom SO MUCH. Seriously, so so SO much! She has been my best friend throughout my entire life. I made it through a year of college just fine, but that was with my siblings nearby and being able to call and text her everyday. I am so scared that I’m going to break down when the reality of not being able to hear her voice more than twice a year hits me.
2. This sister who recently returned from the Argentina Posadas mission said there weren’t a lot of areas where bikes are used, which is good because riding bikes actually scares me. I took one really nasty fall down a rock hill while riding a bike once, and that was enough for me to never want to do it again. What if I end up in a similar accident on my mission?
3. Argentina eats a lot of meat, and a lot of carbs. Meat and carbs, that’s about it. I can work fruit into my diet in the mornings and dinner time, but I’ve already gained enough weight this summer as it is, am I going to come back 50 pounds heavier?
4. What if I get mugged!? Seriously, I’m scared to death that I’m gonna get stabbed or something, and even if I don’t get hurt, I would be heart-broken if my mission bag got stolen because my mission scriptures, patriarchal blessing, family pictures, and special quote book might be inside it! I know they’re all just things, but the scriptures are sentimental because they’re specifically to be used during my mission. The patriarchal blessing is just a copy and can be replaced, but it’s just so special to me. The family pictures can be replaced because I have them on USB but I don’t know if there will be a place to print my pictures or a place to buy a little mini photo book, so that would suck to lose it. And the quote book. Oh my goodness, the quote book. My mom and I spent hours working on that cute little book. I searched the internet for an entire week looking for the most uplifting quotes and poems I could find to take with me. It’s more than just the book, it’s already got so many memories attached to it. I would be so sad if I lost that book.
5. What if none of my companions like me? It sounds crazy, but it’s my biggest fear. I have always had a hard time making friends, party because I moved states every two years of my life, and partly because I have a terrible self confidence. I tend to be kind of a doormat. I avoid confrontation like the plague, and somehow I guess that translates to me not being able to connect with people outside of my family very well. Don’t get me wrong, I made a couple friends at BYU, but they’re going to be a year from graduating and maybe even MARRIED when I get back. I’ll be left in the dust and I’ll basically have to start all over again friend-wise. I desperately want to come out of my mission with at least one good friend. Seriously, some girls go on their missions dreaming of finding their future husbands (I am not judging anyone who does want this), not me. I just want a friend.

Hopes & Wishes

1. I want to come back from my mission with a few friends that I can come back to BYU with as a sophomore. I would be so happy if I could finally have a strong group of friends that I can go out and do random fun stuff just on the spry with.
2. I’d love to come back fluent enough in Spanish to be able to get a few credit-hours for it. I’ve been tossing around the idea of maybe one day becoming a Spanish teacher, but I guess we’ll just have to see what the future brings.
3. If I could lose weight on my mission, that would be great. I’m just going to be honest, I gained thirty pounds since I’ve come home from college. I haven’t been moving much, and my family has been eating out a lot. I am not feeling very confident about my looks right now. I’m hoping that if I eat well during the meals I have control over, the pounds will begin to drop. My mission is mostly a walking mission, some areas have bikes, most don’t. There aren’t any cars, and buses are used sparingly, so I should be getting plenty of exercise! Here’s hoping for a new me, spiritually and physically!
4. I never really got a confirmation one way or the other if a mission was right for me. I finally just decided to go because it was what I wanted to do and I’ve never gotten any feelings that it wasn’t right for me. If I could come back from my mission feeling like it really was something that I was meant to do, whether it be because there was someone I helped touch, something special that I learned, or a friend made, I’d like to come back knowing that this was the path God wanted me to take, and not just something that I could have taken or left without any consequence.
5. I want to come back from my mission a completely new person, for the better of course! Now don’t get me wrong! I am totally worthy to go and I’m not struggling with my faith at all, but my biggest reason for wanting to go is because I want the spiritual growth that comes with serving a mission.

When I sent in my papers, I was feeling like I had hit a spiritual plateau. Since I began preparing for my mission however, I definitely have felt more in tune with the spirit. I also feel that the Facebook group, Many are called…. but few are sisters has helped a lot in preparing for my mission by being able to hear other girls’ mission stories. I am SO grateful that I found it before I left! If you’re a girl preparing to go on a mission, thinking about serving, or a returned missionary, I HIGHLY suggest you request to join the page. It has seriously been one of the best tools in helping me prepare!

Anyway, that’s my list of hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares. If you’re reading this, I would really appreciate any prayers sent my way! 🙂

That’s all I have to say for now,

See you all in 18 months!!!

Featured image: “Seeking the Spirit” by Greg Olsen